Some things that are not okay

I hate that we live in a broken world with broken people.

I hate that we are all so different that some of us find conflict to be excruciatingly painful, while others seem to derive pleasure or satisfaction from it, like it's a head-rush on a roller coaster, or something, while it is making the rest of us faint and throw up.

I hate that people often want to assume the worst about everyone around them, rather than the best.

I hate that our world and our peers reward blaming others for our own issues, rather than giving us the incentives to take responsibility for our own actions.

I hate that we tell each other to "grow a thicker skin", when some of us could sooner grow wings. In fact, I'd rather be able to grow wings. Then I wouldn't have to stand and fight; I could just fly away. Call me a coward, if you will.

I hate that I can't seem to prevent others' opinions from holding control over my heart, no matter how hard I want to be a stronger person.

I hate that I can always tell what's really going on with others; how they feel, what they think. It's like a radio receiver I can't turn off. Ever.

I hate that I can read them so well, I start to manipulate their thoughts and feelings, like I am God. And that I then feel responsible for what other people feel, say and do.

I hate that my intuition almost always turns out to be shrewdly accurate, especially when I have misgivings about the thoughts, feelings, judgments, and fears of others. And then I feel terrible because it's like a self-fulfilling prophecy, except that I just kept wishing I'd ignore it.

I hate that I am sitting here typing out my feelings on a computer because the alternative is letting them eat me alive.

I hate that trying to love others well is not easy, and that it is often not reciprocated or appreciated.

I hate that we live in a broken world full of broken people who just keep breaking things. Like homes, countries, bodies, hearts...

Come, Lord Jesus. Quickly.