Future? What is that?

It's kind-of stupid, I guess, looking back on it, but I always sort-of figured I knew where I was going in life. From before kindergarten, I knew it was "the plan" to go to college, and even before I got to college, I knew I planned to be a teacher and to go to graduate school for education. So, a year ago, I walked out of graduate school diploma in hand, and my first full-time job lined up for the coming school year, all confident that I was going somewhere with my career and my future.

And then I actually entered the working world.

...Where I discovered pretty quickly that nothing is simple or predictable. It's totally different from the world of school. In school, you take classes. You have deadlines. There's a projected time when you finish levels of education and you graduate onto new levels. Things are prescribed, and inevitably you move forward or you can't (or won't), and you quit.

The working world's not like that. You can be in the same place for ages without moving forward (or even moving backward), and there are no guarantees of where you're going to end up. People switch jobs, move places, change careers--there isn't a course catalog and a list of prerequisites to guide you.

Which, in a lot of ways, is freeing. It also can be terrifying.

A year after I graduated from school, I've realized that I have NO IDEA WHATSOEVER of where I want to be in five years. I've realized that although I like teaching there are other things I like too, and why shouldn't I give those a shot? No one said I had to pick a career path at 23 and stick to it. I used to think that was the case, but I'm relieved to recognize now that it isn't. I'm not married, I don't have kids, and I don't have any responsibilities beyond taking care of myself. I could move to California, shave my head, and become a professional magician if I was so convicted. (I'm not, by the way, thanks for asking about my sanity.)

The tough thing is, where DO I want to be? What DO I want to be doing?

Because, though I may be changing my mind about everything else in life, I am convinced that I want to be more than just one thing. I don't want to be just a teacher or just a mom or just a wife. I want to explore lots of different things, see different places, learn new skills. And I'm so thankful to be living in a society and a time and place that not only permits, but actually *invites* me to do that.

...I just probably need to move out of my parents' house first.