Insomnia: What to do when you don't know what to do

Why is it that if you ask me to sit down and write out my thoughts, I can put them together nice and neatly and perfectly oriented to say what I mean in the form and tone that I mean it, but if I have to face someone in person, I crumble and my words turn to ash in my mouth and I sputter and choke on them until I've done nothing but make a mess?

How is it that I can say what I want to say to thousands of people on the internet that I've never met, but to talk to someone I actually know in real life presents an insurmountable barrier?

Maybe it's because of what's at stake.

I'm trying to make a difficult decision about what I should do going forward, and I'm afraid of doing the wrong thing; of making the wrong choice. What do I mean by 'wrong'? I mean the thing that hurts people, the thing that is irresponsible or unkind or ungracious, and I don't want to do that. I don't want my choices to hurt people, or leave damage or destruction behind. But I fear that all of the options I can think of in this situation don't present a way to prevent that. I have what amounts to two doors, and the first is as unappealing and destructive as the second.

What do you do when you're trapped in a fire, but the escape routes are both bad options?

I may be making a huge mistake tomorrow. And I may be trying to do it with words in my mouth, not on paper. Which is even more terrifying.

Happy Birthday, Marge. In honor of the big 25, you get insomnia and a pretty pink slip.