It's thundering very loudly outside and I think it's making me vulnerable at this late hour

There are times when I just feel like I'm being run over by a bus, over and over again. I will admit to anyone that I don't know what I'm doing, and that I'm screwed up, and I fail frequently. It's part of being human, and I am thankful I grew up in schools and colleges where I learned this lesson in humility sooner rather than later. I never would have made it as a perfectionist.

But sometimes I just feel like I'm the only one to take responsibility when something screws up. I'm not saying I'm not at fault--I promise you, more likely than not, I am--but just that everyone else seems to pass the buck around, so that I end up shouldering more guilt than I can handle, while everyone else walks around emotionally intact. It eats at me all the time, little by little, like acid cutting a hole through my middle. Though, for being as weak a person as I am, I do a pretty good job of covering it up, if I may say so myself.

I'm not trying to whine about being guilty of mistakes. I accept my guilt, and I have to pray about forgiveness for it frequently. But it is difficult to live in a world where the expectation is for the individual to pretend to have done nothing wrong. It wears me out trying to pretend, and it hurts that I can't be honest about it.

Where is the grace?