Ugh

Some days are wearing. Like those days when you're all excited because you're making plans with friends for an awesome time together and then a member of your family does something that not only ruins the fun but completely turns your pleasant day upside-down?

There are times--like today--when Mom is so possessive of her children that I question my own consideration because she gets irritated and moody and calls me out for being selfish and rude to the rest of my family. Today my friends and I were finalizing plans to meet up a couple of hours from my home town at my friends' house for the one weekend in May when we will all be on the east coast. This will be the first time we'll get to see each other since we graduated from college one year ago. And I was totally excited...until today happened.

I've been mentioning the discussions we've had about it to my mom for the past several weeks--leaving her little reminders on the phone here and there about our potential plans, and I've even told her several times the probable weekend we were thinking about. Partially because I was excited, and paritially because I knew from the beginning that she wouldn't be thrilled about having me leave home for a weekend, and would *conveniently* continually forget I'd ever mentioned anything about it. But then today, I made the mistake of bringing up the final decision about it when she was tired this afternoon. And she was....less than thrilled about it.

A little taste of our one-sided dialogue:
"Well, that's nice of you take off the last weekend you'll be home." *sarcasm* [A tiny side-note: my mother only seems to be able to grasp sarcasm when she's using it to punctuate her anger.]
"Wouldn't you think that was a little rude?"
"Why do you have to go see them this month anyway?"
"You never invite your friends to our house--you could have just invited them to come here for a change, you know"
"I'm sure their parents would be offended too if--"
...
You get the picture.

When arguments like today happen, I have to stop and question my own motives. Is she the one being unfair, or is she actually right? If I ask to borrow my sister's car to drive a couple of hours to visit friends for my last weekend of my month at home, then maybe I am being rude and self-absorbed. Is leaving my family for the weekend when I'm only home for four short weeks being a jerk? Maybe in some families that wouldn't be a big deal, but mine is a lot closer-knit than some and I sometimes honestly can't tell if what would be appropriate in other families is appropriate behavior in ours.

We naturally depend on our parents to call us out when we're acting like selfish brats. It's part of the job description. Maybe Mom isn't as wrong as I'd thought for being angry with me for wanting to ditch out on our family. Maybe I am being tactless and impudent after all...

 Ugh. Why was distinguishing right from wrong so much easier as a child?